Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize