AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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