# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
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I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
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I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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