We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
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I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I use my feet as sexual weapons
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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