and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
two words: eviction party
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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