ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
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Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize