just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
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That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
we're so committed to being not committed
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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