question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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