You're my little dorito
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize