he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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