I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize