I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize