we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I am midnight drunk by noon
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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