I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize