I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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