But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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