and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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