so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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