I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize