I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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