I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
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Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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