Banned from zoo.
Again?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize