don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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