i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize