so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize