where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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