New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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