btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come see our sink grown plant.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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