I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize