Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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