Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You've changed since you got that strap on
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