wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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