Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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