The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
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Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
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I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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