I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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