i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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