I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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