addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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