grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize