I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
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