Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
what day is it and did you see me today?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
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I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
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Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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