I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
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I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
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Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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