I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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