In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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