found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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