I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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