I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
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She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
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Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize