I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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