She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
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I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
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Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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