I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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